Why men have extramarital affairs?
Speak about a loaded issue that no one wants to talk about, this is it. Funny thing, affairs have been going on since the beginning of the world. Extramarital relationships can be fraught with evils, cause sadness, and other harms. Also you have to wrap your maind around all the other issues, there’s that truth and honesty issue, funds, age difference, spiritual upbringing, guilt, and on and on. I anticipate there will be some strong opinions about some of this.
For the intention of this article I will identify an affair as a long term, maybe months long relationship of a sexual nature between two people of whom one or both are married to other persons, dating married men.
Why do men have extramarital affairs? There are as many reasons as there are seek affair. I am conserned generally though it is only the human condition, the need for liking, belonging, to be wanted and cared for, the caring for others and wanting to be loved and respected. Here are a several reasons I have run across.
Naturally we as human beings are all sexual beings. Nature has us set up to reproduce, to have sex. Sex is pleasing and exciting, and sex makes us flee the world for a short period of time. This euphoria exists for whatever amount of time we are able to keep the adrenalin levels high enough. Some people are able to switch the craving on and off, some are good at controlling it and others are so-so at best. But we all have it, young and elder, able bodied and not so able. It is the Human condition. For some of us it is the sex act itself that drives us. For some of us it is the excitement of the hunt. For some of us it is the seduction, for some it is the caring for another individual, for some it is the longing to be appreciatedloved, for some it is the entire romance thing. These needs and yearnings can be so strong they prevail over the taboos people has erected against extramarital affairs. For lots of individuals the yearnings will defeat their fears and make them risk the fury of not only their family, but the public too. So why, what is the method?
Sex Addicts, perhaps some of us are. Sex is very pleasant, better then drugs, a natural high. If you are in this group of physically obsessed sex addicts and can find away to have an affair and not harm your spouse or anyone else? You would need to lessen the risk you are taking. If you have the approach that a good affair is one that is advantageous to everybody, then good luck.
No love at home, or no romance. I suppose this is the largest group, very big really. There are many couples whose marital relationships is over, except they feel comfortable in the way they live, and upsetting the extended families is not on their list of things they wish to do. You love your spouse but there is no romance. Also there are the children to think about. Your assets are so knotted. You need the medical insurance, and so on. There are a lot of reasons to be jointly besides love and sex.
Physical reasons, there are some people who can not have sex. They have physical reasons that prevent them implementing the sex operation, at least not with their spouse. An marital affair at times solves the trouble while keeping the marriage intact.
Ignoring, sorrowfully this is a ordinary groung I fear. One or the other, usually the guy is sexually neglecting his spouse for a number of reasons. As a male I actually am thankful to you guys neglecting your girls and making them obtainable to us guys of romance, making them “lonely wives” But I still think it is despicable that you are neglectful. Also there is the spouse who is neglectful until the wife or husband has an affair, then they condemn them for doing so, when they where the catalyst. Those who neglect, then condemn, are not only neglectful, but malevolent.
Something is just misplaced in the marriage, I can not put my finger on it, but its not there. Maybe its romance that is missing, could be it is a shortage of love, could be caring is not here, maybe it is the intimacy, maybe neglect. Could be we have just grown separately, our common interests diverged. Could be it is that what I want, and what I want to do the rest of my ages, is contradictory of what you want. Could be I simply don’t know what I want from the marriage anymore. Maybe, just maybe I miss that emotion that when I am with you, it just feels right.
The major reason people give is, they seek the excitement that is missing and so very much longed for.
There are other reasons, the feeling of power, to get away, for financial gain, for revenge and so on. I am sure there are more reasons why people have affairs then these. I only stop because if this gets too long no one will read it.